


love like a burning sun

by thisapathy



Series: darling, let me be broken with you [3]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Happy Ending, M/M, Medical Inaccuracies, Mpreg, healthy relationships (finally)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-28
Updated: 2015-11-28
Packaged: 2018-05-03 19:37:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5304206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thisapathy/pseuds/thisapathy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's primal and raw and natural and the thought scares him, but not as much as the thought of telling Rick does.</p>
            </blockquote>





	love like a burning sun

**Author's Note:**

> I just couldn't leave this AU alone because honestly Carl is so precious. This was supposed to be a drabble but my fingers got carried away. ~~oops.~~ Fills prompt #27 listed [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/5301197). ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> So Carl's 21 at this point and Judith is 5

Carl doesn't know exactly how long they've been trying for. At least two winters have passed. He's resigned to the fact that it'll probably never happen but some part of him won't give up hope. The survivor in Rick won't give up hope.

They try multiple times a week. It's harder now that Judith is older, though she's been moved out of their bedroom and into her own. There are frequent incidents where Judy will crawl out of her own bed at night and appear at their door, always wanting another bedtime story or a glass of water. And, yeah, they make sure to lock the door, but even then something in Carl won't let him turn Judy away without giving her what she needs. So, like clockwork, he'll pry himself away from Rick no matter how much he doesn't want to, no matter how close they are to finishing, and he'll get dressed and let her in the room with them. Most nights, Judith will end up asleep in his and Rick's bed. When this happens Carl knows Rick is disappointed; he can hear it in his voice when they whisper back and forth as Judith falls asleep between them. But then, even then, Rick doesn't mention it, never brings it up. Instead, the next morning they’ll wake separately and Rick will come downstairs to find Carl, he'll kiss him good morning, tell him how good he is with Judith.

Carl will smile, kiss him back, and that'll be enough for now.

*

When Carl realizes it finally happened, he's shaken to the core. There's no modern medicine to rely on, no prenatal care, no ultrasounds. It's primal and raw and natural and the thought scares him, but not as much as the thought of telling Rick does. He doesn't know why he's scared, why he's worried; Rick knows they've been trying for a while. Yes, there's happiness, but there's also worry. He decides to wait a while in case anything happens; no need to give anyone false hope.

*

He keeps a log of dates and months and the times he possibly could've conceived hidden, unbeknownst to Rick, beneath their bed. He pulls it out, locks the door, flips past pages and pages filled with scribbles of failed attempts. He flips to a blank page, and starts counting.

*

If his calculations are correct, he's due at the end of June. June is good. He remembers being pregnant the first time, curled up under a blanket on the couch, reading on his phone that babies born in summer are healthier adults. He knows the odds of having a healthy baby are against him, but he'll take any bit of help he can get.

*

He waits to tell Rick, hides his morning sickness the best he can. Thankfully, this time it's not as bad as it was before. He can stomach the smell of Rick's coffee, at least.

*

The seasons are changing, fast. The temperature grows colder by the day. Carl worries a lot. Worries about Judith having enough warm clothes, worries about their food supply lasting through the winter, worries about taking care of himself, worries about telling Rick.

With each passing day, Carl ticks a mark in his log. When there are enough, he'll tell Rick.

*

He counts to 60. When there is a 60th mark, he takes a deep breath, steels himself, walks downstairs to where Rick and Daryl are in the kitchen talking. Carl appears at the bottom of the stairs, knocks his knuckles softly against the wall. "Rick?"

Rick turns, looks at him, smiles a little. "Hey."

Carl swallows hard and ignores the instant urge to flee. "Can I talk to you?" He glances at Daryl and adds, softly, "Outside?"

Rick hesitates, looks at Daryl and then back to Carl. "Now?"

"Yes." Because if he doesn't tell him now, he's not sure he ever will.

Rick stands and Carl counts their steps until they're on the back porch. He doesn't know why he's so nervous, doesn't know why Rick would even be upset because they've been trying, unsuccessfully, for over two years. Even then, Carl can't let go of the possibility that Rick might be angry. He takes a deep breath, reaches out and takes Rick's hands in his own. "I'm pregnant," he says softly.

An immediate smile overwhelms Rick's face, no hint of anger in sight. He squeezes Carl's hands tight and his eyes get teary, which cause Carl's to do the same, and then Carl’s smiling, too.

"Yeah?" Rick asks.

Carl nods, hair blowing in the breeze. He shivers, kicks himself for not putting a jacket on before coming out here.

"How long have you known?"

"A while," he admits. "I wanted to wait to tell you because the risk of anything happening drops after 12 weeks. I remember reading that on the Internet the first time..."

Rick nods, pulls Carl into a warm embrace, kisses his forehead. "I love you," he whispers.

Carl bumps their noses together. "I love you, too."

When Carl pulls back, Rick lets out a trembling sigh, and the look in Rick's eyes is nothing but absolute hope.

*

They keep it quiet until Carl can't really hide his belly under jackets and coats anymore. Then they tell Judith and the rest of their group at a meeting in the late evening. No one seems to really care; Rick and Carl are old news, have been together since they've been in Alexandria. They're adults; they make their own decisions.

And then, unexpectedly, as the group thins out and Rick heads upstairs to put Judith to bed, Daryl hangs back. He reaches out, squeezes Carl's shoulder gently, looks through his shaggy bangs with a barely-there smile on his face.

"'M happy for you."

*

As the days drag on and spring approaches, Carl stays in the house. He takes care of Judith, begs Rick not to go outside the walls at least until their child is born.

He's in his last few weeks, Denise has already prepped the infirmary, and Carl's not even worried about the pain and anguish he's going to go through as long as everything is okay.

The uncertainty of not knowing what will happen nearly kills him, but the soft kicks against his ribs reassure him that there's hope.

*

The day comes, and Carl and Rick are in the infirmary, and it goes so fast and Carl blocks out all the pain, doesn't let himself feel anything until he hears perfect cries of a perfect baby.

It's a boy.

They name the him Asher, meaning "happiness." 

**Author's Note:**

> prayer circle for carl's eye on sunday. (◡‿◡✿) 
> 
> i'll try to have a couple more prompts posted by then.


End file.
